


Dancing is a Dangerous Game

by likeromeoandjuliet



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: F/M, I don’t know where I’m going exactly, I have no faith this will be any good I’m sorry, Mr & Mrs. Smith AU, and annoyed with each other and also utterly aroused, basically they’re idiot spies, but they’re hot though, they’re also very good at hiding their true feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:28:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28416873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/likeromeoandjuliet/pseuds/likeromeoandjuliet
Summary: “How would you describe your relationship with your wife?”Jughead lets out a small chuckle, glancing at her for a second. “I’d say it’s good. We have a great marriage.” He answers, shrugging.The marriage counselor whose name he cannot remember for the life of him turns towards the blonde haired beauty sitting next to him, holding his hand. “Would you agree, Mrs. Jones?”“Yes.” She smiles a smile he’s come to recognize as polite and not genuine, something she obviously mastered because it had taken him six years to figure it out. “It’s been a wonderful five years.”“Six years.” He nips, smiling tightly at the counselor. Dr. Espiñoza? He knows it’s Spanish somehow, or Mexican, well it’s Latin for sure and it starts with an e. He’s been here fifteen and it’s insufferable. But Betty had told him they should do it, that the appointment was already booked and here he was.“Six years, five years,” she shrugs. “we don’t have any real problems, we just...”“Want a check-up, right?” He glances at Betty, who nods back at him.OrIt’s a Mr & Mrs. Smith AU ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Relationships: Betty Cooper & Jughead Jones, Betty Cooper/Jughead Jones
Comments: 41
Kudos: 93
Collections: 8th Bughead Fanfiction Awards - Nominees





	1. Mr & Mrs. Jones

Veg

“How would you describe your relationship with your wife?” 

Jughead lets out a small chuckle, glancing at her for a second. “I’d say it’s good. We have a great marriage.” He answers, shrugging. 

The marriage counselor whose name he cannot remember for the life of him turns towards the blonde haired beauty sitting next to him, holding his hand. “Would you agree, Mrs. Jones?” 

“Yes.” She smiles a smile he’s come to recognize as polite and not genuine, something she obviously mastered because it had taken him six years to figure it out. “It’s been a wonderful five years.” 

“Six years.” He nips, smiling tightly at the counselor. Dr. Espiñoza? He knows it’s Spanish somehow, or Mexican, well it’s Latin for sure and it starts with an e. He’s been here fifteen and it’s insufferable. But Betty had told him they should do it, that the appointment was already booked and here he was. 

“Six years, five years,” she shrugs. “we don’t have any real problems, we just...” 

“Want a check-up, right?” He glances at Betty, who nods back at him. 

The counselor clears his throat, nodding his head as he writes down on his little notebook, “So, how did you two meet?” 

Betty grins, a real one this time, even laughing a little. “In Argentina.” 

“What was that like?” The counselor questions. 

They both look at each other, eyes on memories. 

Buenos Aires, Argentina 

Five or Six years ago 

She had never been to Buenos Aires before, but recent events had brought her to the bustling city. It was vibrant, exuberant in the warmth present in Latino blood. Alive, with music in the streets. And arms dealers lurking around the corner. The plan hadn’t gone accordingly, word got out that an American spy was tailing Fábio Londoño and his men were out to get them. It was still unclear as to how in the world someone had found out she was here but they were breaking into hotels and taking every lone American wolf to questioning and she did not need that at the moment. All she was there for was information, nothing else. 

“I need extraction, Toni . I’ll be fine for the night, but I need something in the morning.” 

“I understand that but we can’t send in anyone. Orders from above, B. You’re on your own.” 

Walking normally, when the phone disconnects, she glances back, to where she sees a man behind her and she sighs, annoyed at having to find a way to divert the attention. 

Similarly, in the direction she’s heading towards, is a man. Dark haired, tanned, looking behind his back at a man, who Betty recognizes from one the files she’d been sent. Their eyes cross and though they’ve never seen each other their whole lives, a need for survival ties them together. Tall and Handsome waves, a grin spreading across his face as his arm raises above his head and his white tank top rises, showing a very happy trail. Sue her, she may be on a job but this man is definitely American and might just save her ass, she can admire his beauty. 

“Hi, baby.” His eyes are blue ish, as he comes closer, wrapping his arms around her. The two men walk past them. His lips enclose on her ear. “My hotel is on your right.” 

“They’re standing by the corner.” 

“Come on.” He murmurs, taking her hand. “We’ll go inside, wait for whatever this is to settle.” 

They walk in silence, hands interlinked. He guides her up the stairs to his room and she’s thankful for quietness that his empty room brings. Outside, there’s people looking for her and she feels like this is the safest she can get before thinking of a contingency plan. 

“Hi, I’m Jughead.” He smiles when he turns back towards after locking the door. 

“Betty.” She extends a hand and he laughs softly as he shakes it. 

“Betty, it’s nice to meet you. You have any idea what’s going on out there?” He questions. She surveys the room, roaming around. It’s a decent hotel, enough to lay low for a little while. Thank god she had thought to bring her bag with her and hadn’t left it at her hotel. 

She shrugs. “Not sure. A lady said something about a cartel, so I’ll assume she’s right.” 

“You speak Spanish?” He raises an eyebrow. 

“A bit. Enough, I guess.” She says. “What brings you here? Business or pleasure?” 

Eyes on her, he takes a step towards her, a curl seemingly floating to his forehead from the light breeze coming through the open window. “I don’t know. Depends.” 

She smirks, laughing softly. “Really? On what?” 

“On wether you’ll have drink with me tonight?” 

Five or Six Years Later 

New York 

“That was it? All it took was a drink?” The counselor laughs. 

They both shrug, but Jughead has a smug look on his face. “Full disclosure, I believe what followed the tequila was what really what sold it.” 

“I see.” The counselor nods. “How often do you have sex?” 

Betty tilts her head at the doctor. “Is that really necessary?” 

“Yeah, I’m not sure what-“ 

“A healthy sex life is considered to be one of the key aspects of a lasting marriage.” 

Jughead nods, running a hand through his hair as Betty clears her throat. 

New York, Jones household, yesterday

He watches her from the bed as she gets ready for bed, brushing her teeth, taking her make up off and he for a second, he remembers when they first met. Their first night together. Passionate. Intense. Betty’s a beautiful woman, it always took his breath away. Her blonde hair, her beautiful green eyes? Her mile long legs and her ethereal smile? Enough to make any man fall to their knees. He sure did. 

He had proposed a month after they met, crazy about her. Sweet Pea had tried to talk him out of it. Everyone said they were insane to jump into everything so fast but they felt right about it. Still not out of the honeymoon phase. The sex was great, they had playful banter and they both liked the same movies. 

But then everything hit them. The responsibilities of their day to day life, with jobs and the bills and everything else. They had the nice house, the great jobs, but there was always something keeping a safe distance from each other.

They didn’t ever fight, they just didn’t talk. Like there were secrets between them. Things left unsaid, all the time. And he knew, if anything, he was the one with the huge secret hanging on him. His real job was an enormous secret that he couldn’t risk having out there and especially in the safe environment that was his home. With his wife, who was a management consultant for big shot corporations, with a perfectly normal life and there was a need to keep his job a secret, to make sure his identity didn’t get out. 

“Are you gonna make it on time for the appointment tomorrow?” She asks as she walks out of the bathroom and gets to her side of the bed. 

“It’ll be an easy day tomorrow so yes.” He nods, glancing at her for a second and then back to his book. 

“Good. Maybe you’ll like this one better.” She shrugs. 

He hums. And then looks at her in her nightgown, the bedside table lamp in warm tones hitting her skin just right. She looks delectable and maybe if she were in the mood for it, they could both go to sleep satisfied. “Hey, darling?” He smirks, setting his book down and then turning to face her. 

“What, honey?” She murmurs. Her eyes open as his hand travels to her stomach, across the silky fabric of her nightgown. “Honey...” 

“Come on.” He smirks, leaning down to kiss her lips. “You look so sexy in this.” 

“I have to be up early tomorrow.” She argues. 

“We’ll make it quick.” 

“I’m sorry, honey. I’m too tired tonight.” She tells him before reaching over and turning off her lamp. He sighs and turns off his too. 

•

“I  didn’t really like his questions. Too probing, especially for the first session.” He says, spitting out his tooth paste. “Are you sure Dr. Marin is still on leave?” 

Betty rolls her eyes, in the shower, sighing. “She had a child last month, Jughead, it’s going to last a while.” She hears him grumble, and tries to relax, eyes closed. She had to deal with a few men during the day and it’d been exhausting. Easy enough, they hadn’t even bruised her but she felt the strain on her muscles, tension across her body. 

“Hey, honey?” 

“Yes?” 

“Think I can hop in with you?” She hears the teasing glint in her body and she can’t help but be taken back to their first month together, back from Argentina, holed up in her apartment, talking for hours and making love. His lips everywhere and she concedes, she does miss his body. Lord knows he knows what he’s doing. “I’ll make it quick.” 

“Please don’t.” She smirks, pulling him towards her, as he comes in. He crashes his lips to hers and she lets her recent annoyance towards him mix with the desire for him as he lifts her up against the marble wall, moaning. She has to hold herself back a little, because forgetting who she really is, the proper suburban wife, is dangerous. The suburban wife doesn’t wish for him to do the things she’s imagined asking him. That’s the spy. And the spy is a secret. “Fuck, don’t stop.” She breathes out, biting her lip, letting the whisper fall between them and hopes he doesn’t question it. If he does, he doesn’t say anything, he simply picks up the pace. 

At the very least, Betty thinks, they’re physically compatible. It’s enough, although rare that they do find themselves like this nowadays. It’ll probably be a while before this happens again. Either she’s too exhausted because she’s been beating someone up and getting into various dangerous situations or he does that sort of normal suburban husband thing where he hates the new curtains and she wants to murder him. In a sort of strange Freudian way, she feels herself act like her mother. In a way, at least on the image front, their paper house is immaculate and she’s done all that her mother had ever wanted for her. The wonderful white picket fence her mother always wished for. 

Jughead doesn’t know her mother. Jughead doesn’t know any of her family. She hadn’t talked to any of them in at least a good decade. It wasn’t as though it was a full on lie, but still, there was a postcard left in the mailbox of her old apartment every year. One that usually went along the lines of ‘Send Money. Go fuck yourself for leaving’ signed by Polly. 

Their wedding had been a courthouse one. With both their best friends, side eyeing each other at how ridiculous a one month relationship warranted a wedding. Nonetheless they had gotten drunk together afterwards and fucked in the bar’s bathroom while her and Jughead fled home. They had never seen each other since. 

One thing both her and Jughead had in common was a rather small circle of people in their lives. They both had no family. Their friends were usually kept apart and could be counted on one hand. And that works. They both spend too much time at work anyway.

She’s cleaning herself up when her phone rings. “Hello?” 

“They’re ready for you.” She hears on the other side. It’s Toni, hacker extraordinaire.

“Now?” Betty groans. 

“He’s back from the party. In the hotel.” She informs her. “Same security as before. Extract the information and get out. Seems easy enough.” She hears Toni laugh and she holds back the remark, knowing Jughead’s listening in the bedroom. 

“Okay, I’ll see you soon.” Betty says before ending the call. 

“Emergency?” He questions, popping his head in the bathroom. 

“Yeah, they need me to fix something, a nightmarish client. And you know, time zones.” She shrugs. He always buys into her lies easily so he just nods and relief floods her. 

“Right. They really rely on you, huh?” 

She forces a laugh. “It’s the job.” 

•

“He’s infuriating, Toni. My husband is goddamn pain in the ass.” 

“The hell happened this time?” Toni laughs on the earpiece. 

“He told me he hates the carpet I got.” Punch. Get knife out. Executed perfectly. Bye bye, Valdez’s bodyguards. “When I specifically showed him the exact same carpet the morning I got it and he said he liked it!” 

“Mmmh, sounds like a middle aged suburban white drama.” Toni comments. “Code is 3756.” 

The door is open, there are two more men inside. “Also, he forgot to mow the lawn again, when he was in bed all day on Saturday like some idiotic” Kick. “FUCKING” Knife to the leg. “COLLEGE FRAT BOY!” She huffs as the second guy drops on the floor with a thump. “I love him, I swear I do. But I just wish he was a little more like when we met. You know, fun and spontaneous.” 

“Why don’t you talk to him?” 

“Why are there so many rooms in this place?”

“Oh, two doors down, on your right.” 

“We’re not the kind of couple that really talks about their feelings.” 

“Right, you just bottle it up and hope it doesn’t explode.” The girl responds with a laugh, as Betty peruses the rooms and finally gets to where the asset is. 

“Thanks, Toni. Talk soon. I don’t have a lot of time to kill. and this fucking idiot is trying to run.” Betty sighs. “What are you gonna do? Jump out the window? This is a hotel, Valdez. The window doesn’t open all the way.” She shakes her head. 

“How do you know my name?” 

“The same way I know you raped and killed three women. Now say bye bye world and I’ll go to bed soon!” She says, coming closer to him. “I just need your finger.”

•

“Here’s the thing, she’s hot. Your wife is really fucking hot.” Sweet Pea takes a swing if his beer. “But she’s also really fucking irritating.” 

“Care to elaborate?” Jughead raises an eyebrow. 

“She’s too perfect.” 

“I can give you fifty reasons why she’s irritating. Being too perfect is not one of them.” He snorts. Pausing, he looks up at the sky, his muscles feeling a bit sore from his last job and he thinks that Betty is really not that bad, but it’s the way their whole life feels too settled, too white picket fence that rubs him the wrong way. Betty’s generally, as Sweet Pea had put it, perfect. Irritating. But to anyone in the world, the perfect wife. 

“Maybe you just need to get laid more often.” 

Jughead takes a sip of his beer before lifting it up. “Wouldn’t be terrible. But we’re both too busy most of the time and then too tired once we’re home.”

“You could find pleasure elsewhere, my friend.” 

“Pea, what the fuck? I’m not gonna cheat on my wife.” 

Sweet Pea raises his hands up in surrender. “Right, sorry.” He laughs. “You know, man, maybe she’d find the whole spy thing pretty hot.” 

“Or be incredibly terrified and run for the hills with everything we have.” 

“She’s hard to read. It’s like there’s something underneath that suburban house wife.” 

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Jughead glances at his friend. 

“I just mean that, a girl who you married in a month cause you were so crazy in love isn’t just this.” He gestures vaguely to the house around them. And Jughead understands what he means, but this pretend life isn’t what he is either. 

“It was a different time.” Jughead shrugs. “I was different with her too in the beginning.” 

“Honey?” 

“And that would be my cue.” Sweet Pea places his beer down and stands at the sound of Betty’s voice and footsteps. 

Her footsteps get closer and she appears. “Oh, hi, Sweet Pea.” 

“Hiya, Betty, how’s it hanging?” 

“Wonderful. How are you? Still in your mom’s basement?” She smirks and he snorts. 

“Guest house, Betty. Not all of us have perfect marriages and perfect lives like the two of you.” Sweet Pea snaps back with a grin, stepping closer to press a kiss to Betty’s cheek. “It’s good to see you, Coop.” 

“You too, Sweet Pea.” 

Sweet Pea raises his eyebrows at Jughead as he walks out the door, making him roll his eyes. Maybe he does have some sort of point about the “perfect” life they lead. 

Jughead smiles at Betty. “Client ok?” 

Betty shrugs. “Easy job for me.” 

“Well, you are the genius, honey.” He places a kiss to her lips. “Bed?” 

“Go ahead, I’ll catch up with you.” 

“Alright.” He nods. “Night.” He kisses her head before turning his back to go upstairs. 

He wishes he knew of a way to destroy whatever barrier is between them, sometimes he really wants to try again, to build up what they had in the beginning. What was fun and spontaneous and free of whatever chains pulled them down for the past few years. 

The underlying secret was obviously the wrong way to start but it’s not as though he can really tell her that he’s killed people, that he’s a freaking spy for that matter. 

Either way, there’s only two ways for this to end. 

•

“He’s away on another business trip?” Toni raises her eyebrows. 

“Yes.” 

“Do you even know what he does for a living?” 

“Yeah, construction or something.” 

“Betty...” Toni shakes her head. 

“Look, if I don’t ask too many questions about his job, then he doesn’t ask questions about mine.” Betty shrugs. “It’s not like he’s cheating on me, he has a weird code about that.” 

“You mean, basic decency?” 

“No, I mean yes, but like he’s been cheated on so he’s you know...not doing that to other people, or something to do with his parents, who cares?” 

“You’d think with how much you get laid, he’d go looking somewhere else.” 

“Fuck off.” Betty shoves her, rolling her eyes at her friend. “Either way, he’s away on a trip which means I don’t have to make up excuses as to why I’m out of town too.” 

“You’re not wrong.” Toni muses. “Always lovely to have a huge secret hanging over your marriage, huh, babe?” 

Ignoring her again, she places the computer down, checking to see if they’re truly all set. “All I care about now is eliminating the target and getting a nice warm bath when I get home.” 

“If there’s anyone that can do it, it’s you.” Toni tells her. “Alright, you’re all set. I’ll be with you. As soon as you give me your go, we’re out of here.”

It’s an hour later when the truck, which they’d gathered would be where the target is, comes into her view. She has no idea, truly what this is about, just that it’s important to eliminate him otherwise national security would be at risk and she’s always up for the greater good and yada yada yada. The plan is to blow the truck up as soon as it’s within the area they’d designated, had set the charges in and the mission would be done. Clean and simple. 

Clean and simple, if it wasn’t for the person, driving madly across the desert. That is just what she needed today. A fucking complication. 

“Betty, someone’s near the charges.” Toni tells her. 

“Yeah, a fucking idiot in a desert buggy. I swear to fucking god, I don’t deserve this.” Betty groans, looking into the binoculars as said idiot starts to drift right near the charges before stopping. “I thought you said civilians don’t come here.” 

It’s only a moment after that, said idiot takes out a modified RPG. “Shit, Betty. This isn’t good.” 

“I’m taking him out.” Grabbing her sniper, she aims to injure and not to kill, shoots the bullet, sees him fall to the floor but when she doesn’t see blood, she realizes he has a bulletproof vest. “Fucking hell. Toni, are we ready? The truck is in the zone.” 

“2 seconds.” The truck blows up, the mission is complete but the guy is still down there. 

Betty’s looking into her binoculars when the idiot who was clearly after the same thing she was, is pointing the RPG right back at her. Her eyes widen and she springs to action. Sprinting out of her spot, she climbs out just as the place explodes. 

“Betty?!” Toni tells into the comm. “Please tell me you’re alive!” 

“Alive, getting on the bike. Now please find out who that asshole is!”

“On it.” She speeds up the bike, riding away from the explosion. “Oh my god...” 

“What? What is it?” 

“It’s Jughead. Jughead’s the asshole.” 


	2. Reckoner

Jughead walks into Veronica’s office with a burnt laptop under his arm. Whoever this person was, he needed to know, so he could take them out as soon as possible cause clearly she was fucking up his missions. 

“Lodge.” He greets with a grin. 

“What do you need?” Veronica rolls her eyes. “You do know I have my hands full with trying to figure out what happened to our target right?” 

“It is about that, actually.” He raises the laptop and places on her desk. “Think you can get anything out of it?”

Veronica groans. “Jesus Christ, Jughead! You really love making my job harder, don’t you?”

“You know me.” He grins. 

He watches, sitting down on the chair beside Veronica as she starts disassembling the computer. He’ll never fully understand how Veronica is so good with tech. He’d met her when they were in college and roped her into the business. Veronica was a rich girl who aside from being his tech girl was also the one who funded the agency he worked for. Tech was a hobby. And no one would probably be able to tell if it weren’t for her taste in designer clothes. 

“Right, modified chip. Fancy.” Veronica raises her eyebrows before plugging it into her computer. “Alright, I can’t get you much info, but I might get you the billing address if this chip doesn’t try and be a little bitch.” She muses as she typed combinations he’ll never try to understand. “You know how in movies when they just type shit in and it’s done in five seconds? I hate them. I need ten minutes, go grab me a coffee, Jones.” 

He rolls his eyes, as he stands up and walks out of her office with a mock salute. He walks over to the coffee machine and gets to it. He’s still feeling rather pissed at being pulled away from the mission like that. Shooting at them did make him feel better but it’s been his first failed mission in a while and he’d been on good run lately. 

Five minutes later, as he’s walking back into Veronica’s office, she grins at them. “Easier than I thought, I have the billing address.” He placed her coffeeon the desk. “540, Lexington Avenue, 10th Floor, Suite 4003. You know it?” 

He furrows his brows, mulling it over. He does, he knows he does. And it’s where his wife works. The precise building and the precise office but there is absolutely no way it’s her office. She works in...what was it again? He can never remember exactly what she does. Either way...it’s Betty. Betty, his wife, suburban wife who cooks and pesters him about curtains. 

“Is there a name?” 

“There’s initials. E. C.” Veronica tells him and his heart nearly gives out. There’s no way. Holy shit. No way. “You okay, Jug?” 

“Yes, yes, I just need to make a call.” Betty’s first name is Elizabeth and her maiden name was Cooper. He’s learnt that too many coincidences are not coincidences at all, especially in this line of business. 

He bolts out of her office, phone in hand. Did Betty know it’d been him? Had she known all along and if she did then what was the plan now? Maybe they could talk it out, they’re married, they’re together, there’s no way she’d just..kill him, right? Shit. Was it her mission now, as it’d probably be his once the agency knew? Did she know? Was she back already? 

“Jughead, hello.” 

“Hey, Toni. Just calling to check if Betty is around?”

“Um...Yes, she is. She’s a bit busy but she is. Oh and she says dinner is at seven!” 

“Right. Thank you, Toni. Tell her I’ll be there.” 

It’s an hour to seven and he’s twenty minutes away from home. But maybe if he speeds up, he can get there before her and make sure she doesn’t ambush him, before killing him. She wouldn’t kill him...would she? His wife. His beautiful, sexy, charming, with a dazzling smile wife. Whom he married a month after meeting her. Perhaps that hadn’t been the smartest decision, considering his circumstances at the moment. Still, he is holding out hope that it is a coincidence. That his wife isn’t a spy working for the agency that rivals his. It would make the biggest secret he held from her easier to deal with. After all, they’d be the same. Equals. He wouldn’t have this dark secret over their marriage and clearly, neither would she. 

As he pulls up to their driveway, parking his car as normally as he can, grabbing his coat before stepping outside, his heart is beating heavily in his chest. She’s home, her car’s in the garage. He doesn’t know what he’ll find once he’s inside. His wife pointing a gun at him? Holding a glass of wine with poison in it? A knife ready to stab him with, the minute he walks in.

Walking up the pathway, he peeks into the window for anything abnormal and nothing feels out of it, but he’s learnt that meant nothing, especially if she was anything like him. 

“Honey?” He opens the door, walking carefully into the house. “I’m home!” 

“In the kitchen!” 

Jughead takes his coat off, hanging it on the coat hanger before making his way towards the kitchen. He moves attentively, searching for anything out of the ordinary, something that would somehow indicate that his wife was about to kill him. 

As he rounds the corner, she’s there smiling at him. “You’re home early.” 

He smiles back. “Finished work earlier than I expected.” 

“Good thing I made dinner early tonight then.” There’s something unsettling about the way she’s smiling at him. Tight lipped, looking him up and down. “Kiss your wife, Mr. Jones.” 

He forces a laugh, getting close to her so he can press a kiss to her lips. “What’s for dinner?” 

“Steak.” He fucking hates steak. “Wine?” The glass is pushed into his hands and he briefly wonders if it’s poisoned. Briefly because the next seconds she’s cutting bread with an awfully sharp knife. He pictures himself bloody on their kitchen floor and decides that’s not how he wants to go. 

“Honey, why don’t I cut the bread?” He smiles and she freezes for a second as he places his glass on the kitchen counter before setting his hand on her waist. She’s going to kill him, it’s the same look like when he said he didn’t like the carpet. Only this time, he’s sure it’s real. “How was work?” 

“A funny situation happened. We had a job and it turns out another agency was on it too so it was a real mess.” 

“Oh really?” He raises his eyebrows. “Hope you figure it.”

“I always do.”  Definitely going to kill him. “Bring that to the table, will you?” 

It’s a few minutes later, when the table’s all set up, that he thinks of the food. He doesn’t know why all he can think of is poison but it’s too late to back out once he’s gotten a piece of steak in his mouth and she’s smiling at him.

“How’s the food?” She questions. 

“It’s good.” Her cooking’s fucking terrible. And a bit of poison probably doesn’t make it any better. He clears his throat, looking at her before noticing her empty glass. Maybe if he drops the bottle, he can get his gun from the office and protect himself.  Jesus Christ he can’t believe this is happening. 

“How was  your day?” 

“Oh, had a few hiccups as well but we’ll manage.” He shrugs, wiping his mouth with the cloth napkin in his lap. “More wine for you?” He asks, motioning to her empty glass. 

“Sure.” He stands up, grabs the bottle from the middle of the table. He’s about to pour when he drops it. The bottle shatters on the floor but not before he notices how Betty could’ve easily caught by how fast she’d been to reach out her hand. She stands from her chair as if it’s caught on fire, eyes wide. “I’ll go clean it up.”

Betty basically runs out of the dining room and he runs to his study to get his gun from under the desk. When he steps out, gun cocked, the house is eerily quiet. “Betty, you out there, baby?” 

The tires screech in that instant, outside. She’s running away from him. He sprints out the doorand she’s driving out of the driveway. Their eyes lock and he begs her to stop the car but she doesn’t. She just keeps going, as fast she can. 

So he runs. As fast as he can. Gun in his hand. Across backyards and jumping across fences to somehow stop her. 

He jumping another fence and into the street when he pulls the trigger accidentally....right towards the front seat of the car. She slams on the breaks. 

The I’m-gonna-kill-you face returns and her green eyes lock on his and there’s disbelief. 

“Fuck! Betty, baby! That was an accident! Accident, I swear! Let’s talk it out!” 

“YOU MOTHERFUCKER!” 

His mistake is to step on the road to try and minimize the damage as if this is about a carpet or about him not mowing the lawn again. Betty sets her eyes on the target. The target meaning him and just drives. 

His wife runs him over. 

And flees.

As he lies on the ground, looking up at the sky, he realizes Sweet Pea’s house is a viable place to go to. Betty’s never been there, she doesn’t know where it is. I mean, she wouldn’t try to kill him again, he thinks. She just probably doesn’t want to see him. He doesn’t know, truly, at all. He doesn’t know much of anything anymore. 

“My wife ran me over with a car.” He shakes his head. “My wife ran me over with no hesitation, just did it and left me there.” 

Sweet Pea stares at him. Having Jughead knock on his door, at three in the morning wasn’t rare but seeing him with his face all beat up, groaning as he walked up the stairs wasn’t business as usual. Did it surprise him completely that Betty wasn’t who she said she was? Not at all. He always thought there was something underneath that picket fence suburban wife. It did surprise him, however, that she was a freaking spy. Caught him a bit off guard that after all, here they were, all in the same line of business. 

“You gonna kill her or what?” 

Jughead furrows his brows. “She’s still my wife, Sweet Pea.” 

“Dude...who is your wife?” He questions. “Cause sounds to me like she’s been undercover this whole time. That’s how they get you, man. They build your trust and take what they can get and then just leave you. In this case, try to kill you.” 

“Fuck.” He groans throwing his head back. Was it all a lie? He couldn’t afford to feel it all right now, not when there was an order sitting on his work computer to terminate his wife. He guesses she has the same one. But maybe they can come to an agreement. Maybe they can move past this. And for that he needs a way into where she works. Or somehow talk to her. But good lord, she tried to kill him. Did it mean nothing to her? Did he mean nothing? As dejected and exhausted as he felt, there was a part of him that wants a better solution. But he thinks their bosses might do differently if they don’t take the hit. They’d both be dead. 

“Are you doing it?” 

“I need to talk to her first.”

“Dude, she tried to kill you.” Sweet Pea’s eyes widen and he questions his best friend’s mental sanity. “You do remember that, right? Or did the  car  hit you in the head too hard?” 

“My head is fine.” Jughead glares at his friend. “But it’s...I can’t wrap my head around it. I can’t kill her, Sweet Pea. Either she leaves town or...”

“Or she kills you. I’m betting you’re not the only one with an order to kill.” 

Jughead sighs. “I’ll deal with this in the morning.” 

•

“How could I have been so stupid?” Betty shakes her head, taking another sip of her wine. She’s in her office, a place she thinks is safe to lay low for the night and Toni’s still working tonight. “Of course he would be a spy. Of course I’d have the sheer dumb luck of marrying the one guy who is exactly like me!” 

“I just- Jughead, he’s ...Jughead, you know?” 

“I know.” Betty drinks the whole glass in one go as Toni stares bewildered at her. 

“He’s an annoying guy, pretentious as fuck but a spy?” 

“Yeah...my husband is a spy.” With a laugh, she lays back against the chair. “This is so fucked up.” 

“Alright...here’s the good news: You don’t love him.”

Betty freezes for a moment. She genuinely doesn’t know. If it’d all been a lie then she supposes the last ounce of love she had for him would probably vanish with the lies they’d been living in for the past five, six years of marriage. There was a part of her that does love him, somewhere in the midst of everything and in the failure of their marriage, she really does. But there’s a part, a bigger part of her that compartmentalises everything and she can do this. She can bury it and forget it, just another person who broke away from her, adding another one to the list.

“You just have to kill him. And you’re good at that.”

“Thank you.”

“And then he’s gone and you can move on with your life.” 

Betty huffs out a soft laugh. “Easier said than done.” 

Toni stands up, sighing. “Alright. I’ll leave you to your wine and moping. Be safe, okay?” 

She smiles softly at Toni as her friend leaves and shuts the door. Sitting alone again, she finds her mind going back to him. How they met, were they on the same mission that day. She remembers there being several people looking for the same information. And they’d saved each other that day, they’d taken advantage of each other perhaps. But that hadn’t been all. She admits she fell for him that night, over tequila and dancing. She admits that she’d thought of him the moment she woke the next morning, before clarity reached her and there he stood by the bed with a smile on his face as he leaned down to press a kiss to her lips. 

Their beginning had been beautiful, she believes it. And it’d felt real. How he proposed to her. 

** Five or Six Years Ago **

_ His apartment is quiet, even in the middle of busy New York City. It’s a lazy day, she has nothing going on and she’s known him for a month. She feels like she’s known him for much longer. As she lies here with him, running a finger through his hair, she thinks she’d like this moment to last forever. As much as finding someone safe is a good call for her, a nice place to land, to hide her real identity, this is real. With him, this moment, it’s real.  _

_ He makes her laugh. He’s sweet. He has good taste in wine. And he’s great in bed. He’s a catch. He reminds her of simpler things, when it’s just the two of them. Maybe it’s too fast, but she thinks it’s worth sticking around for.  _

_ “You’re awake.” He breathes, his eyes opening. “Thought I tired you out, Betts.” _

_ “I might be ready for round...what was it? Three?” _

_ “Four.” He grins. “Is it morning?” _

_ She shakes her head, with a laugh. “It’s noon.”He turns on his back and pulls her on top of him. Betty grins down at him. “Hi.” _

_ “Hiya back.” He murmurs, pulling her down so he can kiss her lips. When they pull away, he brushes the hair off her face, he’s looking at her the way she thinks every girl deserves to be looked at, like she’s everything to him.  _

_ “What?” She questions. _

_There’s a beat, a pause and then he smiles again. “Marry me.” He whispers. “Be m_ y wife.”

_ “Are you serious?”  _

_ “I got the ring. Sorry, was that the worst way to propose? I just wanna marry you, like tomorrow, if I can.” _

_ “Jug.” She breathes out. “Are you seriously asking me to marry you?” _

_ “I am. So, will you? Will you marry me, Betty Cooper?”  _

_ She laughs when she kisses him again, whispering yes against his lips like it’s a prayer. _

•

Getting into the building’s ventilation system is the easy part. Navigating it, is a bit harder. It takes him thirty minutes to find her office and when he gets there, he sees her. Sitting in front of the computer, his face on the screen. She’s gathering data on him which means (and believes this to be good news) she hasn’t been infiltrated and trying to extract information from him in the duration of their marriage. 

He watches for a second, as she frustratingly searchers for whatever it is she’s trying to find. There’s an incredibly hopeful part of him that wishes she’s doing all this digging in hopes of understanding that they aren’t a lie. They can’t be, he swears. There’s moments that he feels blindsided by such a fundamental part of her but then he remembers the way she used to look at him in the beginning and how being around had felt freeing. A moment of peace in the midst of the storm that seemed to be his life. It’s quite obvious that it hadn’t been like that for a while, their feelings had gone over passion and he thinks, and he’s been done with lying to himself for a while now, that he still loves her. 

The problem and what Sweet Pea had been right about is that he doesn’t know for certain that the woman he loves is still the woman he met all those years ago. There’s no way to know but to talk to her. She’s still his wife. And sure, she may be a spy but maybe it’d be nice to have someone who understands him completely. He’s told her things he hadn’t told anyone. About his family, his past. His goddamned sister, even. That had to amount to something. 

Her anger brings him comfort, he supposes. If she’d been that angry upon discovering he was a spy, then that meant she cared enough to  be  angry. 

“Betty, Jughead is in the vents.” A voice he recognises as Toni enters the room and he scrambles to get to a better place to pop out of. 

Her announcement sets it all into motion. He’s trying to open the air vent so he can get out, they’re destroying documents and computers, he hears things blow up and all he can think about is that he definitely did not think this through. Had it slipped his mind that this building was probably highly secured? Yeah maybe it did, a little. He can act impulsively at times, sue him. But he swears he’s one of the best in the business, so perhaps he wanted to be caught. 

Just to see the look on her face as they evacuate the building. He watches as he jumps out of the vent and they’re in the same room. The girls are all rappelling out of the windows towards another building but she’s behind them, staying just to do what he’s doing. Lock their eyes and for what? He’s not quite sure. But the glimmer in her eye sends a rush through him and she looks him dead in the eye as she leaves. 

“Betty! Don’t be a pussy!” He yells out when she reaches the other building. He swears he can see her crack a smile. 

“Suck my metaphorical dick!” 

It’s pathetic really, but the feeling it gives him makes him want to fight even harder for what this could be. For her, maybe. For them. For some kind of peace in this fucked up life. For what they could be without secrets. 

He’s exiting the building when he decides to bring the phone up to his ear and call his wife. After their moment, he’s sure she’ll pick up. 

And he’s not wrong. 

“Happy anniversary.” He says into the phone.

“Happy anniversary, honey.” She answers back, the same bite in her tone. 

“It seems we missed each other just now, huh?” He chuckles.

“Seems that way, yes.” 

“Listen, how about we make it to our seven o clock reservation without killing each other? Think we can manage?” He’s hopeful they can talk, like an absolute idiot for the woman a week ago he swore he wouldn’t miss. Now faced with the actual possibility of not having her, he’s faced with feelings he thought were gone. 

“I think you should leave town, Jughead.”

He laughs. “Only if you’re with me, baby. Seven O’Clock. Our anniversary restaurant. I’ll be there.” 

Jughead counts down the hours until their reservation and when the time comes, he’s sitting at their usual table, dressed in a suit she’d bought for him just last year. His gun is on his lap under the table, he’s not taking any chances. Just in case. To keep it civil...you know, spy level civil. His finger isn’t on the trigger. 

It’s her perfume that alerts him of her arrival. The sweet scent of his wife, evocative, it brings him to other times, the past. Meeting her for the first time, even in the heat, she still smelled beautifully. 

“Fancy meeting you here.” He speaks out as she comes into view. There’s a small smirk on her lips. “Figured out of it’s five or six years?” Guarding the gun, he stands up and walks around the table so he can pull out her chair.

“It’s officially six.” 

“Wow, how’d you confirm that, Mrs. Jones?”

“Watched our wedding video before burning the hard drive.” 

He huffs out a soft laugh. “Low blow.”

“You haven’t even begun to feel what a blow is like.” 

“Maybe stop using the word blow or my mind will wander.” He smirks. 

He watches Betty sigh softly, watches the way the breath she draws in makes her chest expand. Her black dress isn’t helping his situation and her cleavage will be the death of him. Betty Jones is still every bit as beautiful as the first moment he laid eyes on her. 

“You really want to shoot me in plain sight, Jughead?” She questions. 

“It’s for safety reasons. What’s yours?” 

“Self defence.” She tells him, her voice dripping with sarcasm. It’s in that second that he manages to kick her gun away, she isn’t expecting it. The gun ends up under the table to their right and as he watches it, his own gun is kicked off his hand, landing near hers. “Now that that’s out of the way....talk.” 

“Talk?” He raises an eyebrow. 

“You said you wanted to talk first. Before we killed each other, was it? Talk through this?” She asks, as their waiter serves her wine, she smiles in thanks. “Let’s talk, baby.”

He breathes out, his eyes tracing her face as he tries to figure out what exactly she’s thinking. “You’re mad.” He points out. 

“Yes, my husband isn’t who I thought he was.”

“Yeah, well, my wife isn’t either.” He snaps back. “Was it all a lie? To you?” She stares at him, not responding for a moment, before taking a sip of her wine. 

“Shall we dance, honey?” She asks through gritted teeth.

He pauses, she’s the most the difficult person to read. “Always for you.” He stands up, offering his hand only to pull her up forcefully. Betty stands her ground, gripping him harder, as they walk towards the dance floor. Having her in his arms again gets him angry that she’d be willing to give all of this up. 

“Why is this always what you do?” He questions. The tango is as intricate as them, he fears, the way she’s pushed up against him. 

“What is?”

“Putting on a mask. Never giving anything away.” 

“Isn’t that part of the job?” 

“I think it’s just you. You think of everything as in variables you can control and that’s all that you do, you control the outcome of everything, you plan, you strategise, as life is a mission and you have quotas to hit.” He pushes her back until her back hits the column in front of them hard, he even thinks the glass is shattering. The moment it happens though, she turns the game on to him and swiftly twists his hand enough so it seems like he’s twisting her in his arms.

“Are you about to tell me that’s the reason our marriage was unsuccessful?” 

“I am.”

She scoffs and he dips her. “The lying didn’t play any part, did it? Or having the only time we spend together be awkward dinners and boring neighbour parties.” 

“We’re both to blame but why do you care if we were just a cover?” He brings up to him again and he watches the faintest crack in her facade. 

“I never said you were just a cover.” They stop dancing then, facing each other. “I’m done, I can’t-.” She slips out of his grip before he has any chance to respond, still lost in the notion that maybe he’d been right about them. It wasn’t all a lie. 

In the moment it takes him to collect himself, she’s already gone. And he curses himself for letting her affect him this way. He was supposed to be out of love with her for years but just like that, she’s pulled him back in. Like he’s in Argentina and she’s walking up to him, beautiful green piercing into his own. 

But this can’t be the end. Not now.

Because there’s a bomb in his pocket, mockingly beeping at him. 

She put a fucking bomb in his pocket. 

“BOMB! BOMB! EVERYBODY DOWN!” He screams, throwing it on the ground before running off. 

Granted, it’s a small bomb, it won’t actually do any damage, if people are at safe distance. 

Now he actually wants to fight her. 

•

She’s gripping the steering wheel so hard, her knuckles are turning white. You don’t love him, Betty. Focus on that and you’ll be fine. He’s arrogant, he’s pretentious, he’s lazy and he hates the new curtains. You don’t love him. 

There’s a lump in her throat, she realizes. It’d happened too many times lately, when she was alone. She hates that he’s right, that the mask she wears is just what it is. A mask. And that this doesn’t feel anything but like a gaping hole in her chest. 

The phone rings. Of course it’s him. 

“You tried to kill me.”

“I know you’d find it in time.” She defends herself. 

“It was bomb!”

“With a beep, Jughead!” 

“I swear to god, I know you’re going home, I’m right behind you and I’m going to rip you to shreds.”

“Back at you, baby.” He hangs up the phone and she groans. “Fuck You.” She mutters under her breath. “Lying piece of shit.”

And then he calls again. 

“Jughead, are you close?” 

There’s a pause and her heart accelerates in her chest. “I want to tell you something. About us.”

“Now?”

“It’s the end of the line? All’s fair in love and war, right, Betts?” He asks, pausing again, as she waits in anticipation. “You were everything I dreamed of. The moment I laid eyes on you, it felt like a warm summer breeze.” 

“Don’t say things like that.” She breathes out. 

“I was hoping it’d melt all the ice you have in your heart. Want to tell me what it was like for you?” 

She struggles with defining it, but she knows exactly what feeling it was. It was relief and not because they were in danger, at all. But because he looked like he could breathe life into her just so she could hold on for longer. 

Betty can’t afford to say things she means, because she’ll break. 

“I thought you’d make a great cover.” 

The call disconnects and she wipes the stray tear that seems to have escaped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter to cleanse people’s palate after that last Riverdale ep! Enjoy! Hope you like it ❤️

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me if you’d like me to continue this or not cause I’m having way too many second thoughts lol


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